CREATE fnd
Healthy Relationships
What do healthy and unhealthy relationships look like? How do you communicate effectively in relationships? What is important to remember when developing new relationships?
‘Healthy Relationships' is made for and with young people with an out-of-home care experience, the video features discussions with young people who tell us what relationships mean to them.
The topic of healthy relationships is part of our holistic life-skills program, CREATE Your Future, and the adapted CREATE Your Future program in The Ability Project. For more details about these programs, see them on our website http://create.org.au
CREATE Foundation acknowledges funding from the New South Wales Department of Family and Community Services, Ageing, Disability and Home Care (ADHC) for the development of this video resource as part of The Ability Project.
hi I'm will I'm part of the create Foundation which works to improve the lives of young people in the art of home care system this training module is part of our create your future program it talks about relationships and what makes a healthy and positive one this video is for young people carers support workers community workers and family members throughout the course of the video we will be hearing from young people about their views of relationships as well let's start by looking at what a relationship is relationships can be short and very meaningful or long and not so meaningful and everything in between some examples of relationships might include family friends peers caseworkers support workers teachers and even romantic and remember the relationships don't have to be between two people they can also be between groups different kinds of relationships include like husband and wife mother and daughter brother and sister like parents friends work colleagues university friends radio friends lifeguard friends as well so various work places now let's look at what makes a healthy positive and equal relationship there are a number of components that can make up a healthy positive and equal relationship these might include respect honesty communication mutual support and love some of things that help us make a relationship positive I would say a trust understanding and empathy what else makes a positive relationship would be just I just thought of respect need to understand one another as well yes even if you think all your relationships are amazing it is always important to reflect on your relationship and think about how it might be improved or made better having self-awareness being aware of what you want out of a relationship is really important having boundaries being able to set comfortable boundaries and being aware of what you want out of a relationship having shared values which means having similar ways in which you want to live your life and finally communication communication communication if you don't talk in a relationship it won't be as effective all communication is a big one because communication is the key I feel for relationships to work because that's where you understand one another that is where it's like the very basic like you can not only do you talk you find out how one another's feeling or you find out how everybody else is feeling and it creates – it creates a healthier lifestyle as well communication if there's no communication unfortunately it won't work you know if you're too close to somebody and like you're with them every second so at the moment my and I were continuously together without a lot of space except for like at night time that kind of it brings us closer but it also like it pushes us apart because like we could get sick of one another it's like maybe just having like personal space and boundaries now it's time to have a look at different types of relationships developing a healthy positive relationship is challenging it's always important to think about what you want to get out of a relationship and what it looks like an equal relationship is one that might include clear and effective communication being flexible your way is not always the right way and Trust knowing that you can 100% believing the person you are in the relationship with your relationship is definitely having both parties just being like right in terms of like where their balance is you can't have one dominating over the top of the other otherwise a relationship won't work and it's also understanding ones differences as well so that equal relationship to work because if you don't understand ones differences then it's going to be a difficult relationship unfortunately I think an equal relationship between people is like you're giving 110 percent and then getting 110 percent back I don't know it's not like one person it's like in a high position than the other or they just both level planes yeah yeah alternatively and unequal relationship might include violence and abuse of power or overpowering another person mentally or physically I always like that one person in like every group that always thinks I'm will superior then like the rest of them and like they always like they always seem to like put people down like just to make themselves feel better an unequal relationship is where two or more people do not get along where one person or a multiple amount of people tend to dominate over the other and not everyone is obviously heard in this unequal relationship either and feelings of respect I no longer mutual it makes you feel like you're not as worthy like in that friendship like it makes you feel like you're not as important makes you feel like that they're always gonna be like better than you and yeah I guess it just makes you feel really inferior yeah if you think you are in an unequal relationship and you hope to change it there are a number of things you could try start the communication between the people in the relationship make it inclusive to explore this further let's look at a few examples not really the parent does hold all the power like they can choose to control the kids life or hover over them and not let them do things their own way they're always in control of the child I guess see I would see it as a bit of both positive and I'm going to equal the unequal bit being that you know the parent being the dominant over the other but also with the parent looking over the the child it's like the parent is the guardian here in this relationship and the kid is obviously going to have to accept that this is an unequal relationship because the parent is older and therefore has more power it could be healthy if both the parent and child respect each other and another example either equal or unequal it could be eco as in you know they both have the same input that's one of the best friends so we just have a lot of similarities or one friend can just you know be dominating just be making all the shots we going out we're going to this place we're hanging here and then the other friend just goes along and just doesn't have a voice but she just goes along I think in our case it is because we kind of work together and we both like I don't know we're both really similar we always know what we what each other wants like we always like tell each other how we feel about everything like we always know like we always know that we're on the same level this is an equal relationship because they should both want to be friends otherwise there wouldn't be best friends and be in the relationship equally it could be healthy or unhealthy depending on how each person behaves in their relationship now we can look at some real-life examples of how young people have worked together to create healthy happy and positive relationships so one of the positive relationships I have is with my lifeguard mentor Larry very good person very friendly very down-to-earth I can trust him with my life because he's taught me all my life cutting skills which is crucial for a lifeguard to perform their tasks or duties has always been there for me during tough times as well so it's not only just you know in the business of life gardening but outside I can always rely on him to talk to if I need someone to you know to have a shoulder to cry on so very positive relationship I met Molly when we when I first moved to Sydney and we hit it off like the first time that we met and then like just being able to grow together our families also played like a huge part I guess because with my family accepting Molly and Molly's family accepting me that just to help our friendship grow [Music] as you can see among other things there's always important in a healthy positive relationship for there to be respect trust communication and support [Music] so when we are forming new relationships what do you think are some important things to think about some of the important things in studying relationship for young people would be communication just get to know one another get to know everybody in your like in your workplace your friendship groups even family be like caring and assertive towards one another as well it establishes a positive and healthy relationship Trust is a big one as well and that's going to take some time but the more communication give the more trust hopefully you'll be able to earn and then in respect show it towards one another but most importantly respect each other for who you are and what you stand for because that ultimately is what makes relationship work grounds might be weather like you feel whether it'll impact on you positively or negatively so if it if the person's gonna be a good influence on you or like if they're gonna be a bad influence like they're gonna help you or nod like that kind of thing we've reached the end of this training video thanks for taking the time to watch we hope you've learned something about what it takes to have a healthy positive and equal relationship [Music]
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