IMPORTANCE OF MENTAL HEALTH | SHIBILI SUHANAH

IMPORTANCE OF MENTAL HEALTH | SHIBILI SUHANAH | TEDxFarookCollege

: Shibili Suhanah portrayed and conveyed the significance of mental health and ways of sailing through emotional and mental breakdowns. Shibili Suhanah is a Psychologist. Shibili famously known as Sooperwomeen has been
instrumental in setting the standard for mental health in our society today. She is capable of
proposing socially relevant topics in an ingenious yet compelling manner. Shibili has founded a
clinic, Haven on Earth, for placing herself among those who need assistance with their concerns. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

so I attended My Best Friend's Wedding last year in January and met many of her friends okay so uh we were having a lot of dance routines and all together so we became really close to each other as it was a Christian wedding there was a lot of really good non-vegetarian food options this one friend of hers claimed to be a vegetarian and I felt really sorry for him because there was hardly any vegetarian options later when the Caterers were packing up I saw him at the corner Alone by himself eating chicken wings at this point I felt shocked and betrayed again last year during Christmas I met my best friend and her partner and I shared this with her brought this up and I criticized him for lying to us and she said so no he has been struggling a lot lately he has a lot of issues with his eating habits actually he has an eating disorder as friends we're all trying our level best to help him imagine my surprise suddenly a pan of guilt washed over me I a mental health professional judged a person just like that yeah just out of curiosity please don't feel embarrassed or anything I'm just going to ask you a few questions please feel free to raise your hands all right is that cool okay so how many of you have thought or said oh what a lazy person when someone puts off things never does anything on time and is always making excuses okay how many of you have called someone too emotional or too sensitive fair enough how many of you have or would have gotten really frustrated and angry when you're so hungry and you're in a restaurant and they take forever to just make a decision and order food yep been there done that all of us yeah a lot of us so the truth is that there are multiple things going on in the lives of people around us that we have absolutely no clue about we tend to judge others without understanding their struggles the person in front of us is a culmination of every single thing that has happened to them since the Inception of their life and many people have experienced trauma that has resulted in patterns of thoughts and behaviors that are challenging for them this is not to justify their actions or behavior but it does not negate the fact that they require help and support we tend to see trauma as a negative event that happened to us right but trauma is not what happened to you it's what happened inside of you as a result of what happened to you trauma can cause us to isolate ourselves but the road to recovery requires us to connect with other people now building meaningful relationships and opening up to trusted individuals like family and friends it helps us feel supported and connected with each other and it helps us to work through our experiences the healing of trauma cannot be achieved in isolation it requires Comfort support and connection with other people now let me explain what Brahma does to us using the polyrhagal theory or the science of connection now it explains to us what the impact of trauma is on our autonomic nervous system the ANS which is the foundation of our lived experience according to Deb Dana an author and a clinician this theory has three organizing principles it is hierarchy neuroception and co-regulation now hierarchy refers to the three states that our nervous system takes us through multiple times every single day all right so it has connection which is rest and digest space social and safe it can be also called ventral second one is mobilization or fight or flight response which is sympathetic and the third one is disconnection or collapse or shutdown or freeze which is the dorsal vehicle please make sure that you remember these words at least connection social and safe ventral and mobilization fight or flight this connection shut down freeze yeah because I'll be using these words throughout the talk these states these three states can be thought of as a ladder with which we can move up or down by activating or by relaxing our nervous system which is based on the reception of various stimuli or new reception now this is a very predictable hierarchy that can only be moved through in sequence yeah even when we are shut down we have to pass through mobilization to reach the stage of connection even if it is briefly we have to move through it in sequence itself new reception is the ability that we have to receive or the nervous system receives their cues that tells it whether it has to move into connection stage or to protection stage the nervous system is constantly listening to whether this information is coming from inside the body from from the outside environment or from between the nervous systems and our nervous system gets this information every micro second and this is below the level of our thinking brain which means that even before the information goes to our brain everything has to pass through our nervous system co-regulation co-regulation tells us that we are wired to be in connection with others so basically our nervous system is longing to be connected to other nervous systems it's a biological imperative and we cannot survive without it so when we encounter something new in our lives our nervous system instinctively comes to a binary question okay asks a binary question and that is is this a threat to life or is this safe instinctively at this point the brain is not yet engaged and this nervous system relies on our senses which is our sight our smell our hearing or touch and our intuition to make a very quick decision so this process creates a triangular block let's think of it as a triangular block okay so the top point is the brain and the wall below is the nervous system and every interaction that comes through this ner this wall is initially evaluated either as a threat or as safe and if it is deemed safe then the nervous system opens up a connection to the brain otherwise mobilization or disconnection now it is this our body has this remarkable ability to make this quick decision in a fraction fraction fraction of a millisecond and if you have had previous bad experiences a nervous system just goes the last time this happened it was really difficult so let's avoid that from happening again so we just go to mobilization or disconnection immediately allow me to share an example of a common conflict that between that happens between my partner and me so let's look of it as suhana is a person who values her independence greatly and is often engrossed in her work okay so on occasion Abu asks her do you want help and uh this can this simple question can trigger a traumatic response within suhana where she has probably been asked the same question and met with criticisms after that and been told that she can never do anything right so in response to Abu immediately suhana can react very defensively and just ask Abu to leave her alone unfortunately at this point this dismissal can make Abu feel rejected because Abu shows his love through acts of service and at this point suhana and Abu may become dysregulated and this tension can easily escalate into a full-blown argument for those who have experienced severe trauma where fight or flight is not even an option which means that for example let's take the case of a child who has been abused by a caregiver also so in this point the child can't even defend themselves from this person so fight is not an option can't even run away so flight is not an option the child feels helpless and falls into the freeze response or the disconnection collapse shutdown response at this point when the shutdown response happens it is even possible for the person to faint when when you shut down when you freeze your body is also off or Frozen for you you disconnect from within your body as well and then you have a tendency to push yourself towards isolation and all anxiety is separation anxiety so you end up feeling alone in your pain and your trauma as well and you obviously cannot go to your caregiver with this pain because you already feel like they do not they do not understand your feelings you already went into the Free State because of that so during these moments of mobilization and disconnection individuals require social connection to regulate their nervous system and to reach the ventral State or the connection state which is the only place where they can Thrive by being themselves and it is very ironic that when we need connection the most we end up pushing ourselves towards isolation the most so how is it possible for us to co-regulate and nourish our nervous system what do we need to do to stay and to move to our ventral where we can feel trust we can feel connection and attachment let's again take suhana and abu's example okay so they need to learn to co-regulate build connection with each other and realize that they are not threats to one another now Abu could also use a different approach in talking to sahana and maybe ask her is there any way in which I can offer Love to You by providing warmth and support to her suhana on the other hand could learn to take a pause observe the situation really ask herself is this really a threat to her life by taking a deep breath she can allow her nervous system to open to cognition and accept abu's warmth and love and support this way by regulating their nervous system together they can both move to the ventral stage so Abu always does this thing where when he notices that suhana is dysregulated he asks this question what pain of yours am I not seeing this brings suhana back to her present moment and helps her feel understood where he also sometimes asks how can I love you better today and let me tell you this approach is often successful in building connections and resolving conflicts it works like a charm but not everyone has access to these nurturing and supportive peers yeah for example I recently heard someone say that people who die by Suicide are selfish cowards and rebellious children who don't listen to their parents if only their parents had shown a little bit of kindness or empathy to them instead of raising their voices or if their society had offered support and help instead of judging them for their WhatsApp statuses or for removing their profile pictures many more individuals would have been on the path to recovering from depression those with mental illnesses are often ignored and sent back home when they report physical symptoms which further leads them to isolation and loneliness trauma isolates people and the healing from it requires connection with others not just connection with the Healer but also with supporters peers and partners in healing it is essential to have a give and take relationship that reminds us that we are not alone and that we're all connected humans crave social Connections in various forms such as forming communities communicating calmly showing physical affection offering words of affirmation by giving and receiving gifts spending quality time together basically all the five love languages writing letters or poems and even sending text messages or sending memes or emojis in fact even just standing on the balcony and just greeting at each other creating these new and trustworthy connections can be very challenging but being alone is not natural to us we need to create an informed and caring circle of individuals around us and it's important that we become that person for the people around us by expressing kindness showing genuine interest and being approachable being both the recipient and Giver of these qualities in relationships can help us heal wounds replace loneliness with companionship and experience the double benefit of healing another person while also healing ourselves Dr Vikram Patel psychiatrist researcher and Professor suggests that one of the most important steps towards improving Mental Health Care is to de-professionalize it he recommends taking mental health directly to the population and increasing awareness and literacy about mental health among the population or the general population now this can be achieved by providing tools and resources to ordinary citizens he also suggests using community health workers such as the Asha worker model to start providing Mental Health Care alongside the care of other diseases this approach has the potential to reduce the burden on mental health professionals and increase access to care for those who needs it the most and by empowering individuals and health we can create a much more sustainable and effective Mental Health Care system which leads me to the Nexus of today's talk while I wholly believe that it is essential to recognize the importance of mental health professionals and their evidence-based treatments effective treatments in providing high quality care for those with mental health issues I'd like to point out with the instances that I've recollected today that it is important that we can educate ourselves to make better decisions and support our peers as well as the community at Large prevention is obviously better than care cure sorry if prevention is obviously better than cure so let's de-professionalize mental health care and let's Empower individuals and communities to take care of their own mental health by bringing the following practices into notice number one by increasing mental health literacy by empowering individuals to take care of their own mental health by using tools and Resources by identifying early signs of mental illness and by making sure that access to proper care is given to individuals by utilizing the community health workers such as the Asha work model worker model to be trained to provide basic mental health care to people and identify individuals who need immediate help by strengthening the community-based services by creating support groups and providing training to family members and to supporters and to community leaders by providing Mental Health Services in non-traditional settings like schools workplaces universities community centers this helps in reducing stigma and increases accessibility so let's together shift from a place of moral High Ground traditionalized medical approach towards creating a compassionate connected Community for all that's my vision for the future of Mental Health and to be very honest my community is also here today the smallest one that I have created by myself a give and take relationship and that's the only way in which we can move forward and feel love and feel support and warmth so thank you to my community for providing me with so much warmth and support and with that I can finally say thank you for coming to my TED Talk [Music]

#IMPORTANCE #MENTAL #HEALTH #SHIBILI #SUHANAH #TEDxFarookCollege

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@kavitabedi2023 30 September 2025 at 20:58

Very important..need of the hour ❤
@HolisticHealthHub-q8v 30 September 2025 at 20:58

Mental health is just as important as physical health. Taking care of your mind leads to a happier and more fulfilling life
@nabeelanashat2578 30 September 2025 at 20:58

She was calm and composed. Very well put! Good job. ❤
@clockwork2581 30 September 2025 at 20:58

It’s fascinating how our initial judgments can be so far from the reality of someone’s situation. The story about the friend at the wedding really highlights how complex people’s struggles can be, often hidden beneath the surface. Understanding this can help us approach others with more empathy and less judgment.

One practical step to support friends or even ourselves is to create open lines of communication. Sometimes, just asking how someone is doing, without making assumptions, can open doors to meaningful conversations. Additionally, learning more about mental health and trauma can equip us with better tools to support those around us. Resources like mental health awareness workshops or community support groups can provide valuable insights and foster a more compassionate environment.

Remember, everyone has their battles, and extending kindness and patience can make a big difference. Seeking to understand rather than judge can help build stronger, more supportive connections.
@soopermommie 30 September 2025 at 20:58

💙
@highandmightyqueen79 30 September 2025 at 20:58

I got goosebumps if only i was this confident as this lady in presenting
@dinkan_dinkan 30 September 2025 at 20:58

💛💛💛
@zeninpeasa 30 September 2025 at 20:58

A wonderful talk!
@iHafix 30 September 2025 at 20:58

Great talk 👏
@mtglassattitude 30 September 2025 at 20:58

So glad you touched on the foundational concepts. A very on brand suhanah talk, absolutely loved this ❤
@luipe6708 30 September 2025 at 20:58

Kidney touching story😢😢
@vimalvml4883 30 September 2025 at 20:58

Proud of u.