TEDx Talks
Breaking the Silence: Why Men Need to Talk About Their Mental Health | Henry Nelson Case | TEDxAUBG
NOTE FROM TED: This talk contains a discussion of suicidal ideation. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please consult a mental health professional and/or support organization, as this talk is not a substitute for mental health advice. TEDx events are independently organized by volunteers. The guidelines we give TEDx organizers are described in more detail here: http://storage.ted.com/tedx/manuals/tedx_content_guidelines.pdf
In his talk, Henry shares his personal journey with mental health struggles as a young lawyer and how toxic masculine stereotypes played a role in his experience. He discusses the societal expectations and gender norms that make it difficult for men to seek support when struggling with mental health issues and the harmful coping mechanisms that men often turn to. Henry also highlights the significant consequences of this stigma and lack of support, including male suicide, and offers practical solutions to promote men's mental health. Henry is a qualified lawyer from the UK, and a newfound influencer as well. He strives to promote the importance of mental health in the workplace and challenges toxic corporate behaviors.
On social media, he creates relatable and impactful content that positively touches the lives of all those who have been affected by negative corporate workplace behaviors. Henry is also a co-founder of a company that helps law firms and organizations utilize the benefits of short-form videos.
With his personal experience in the corporate world and a passion for mental health awareness, Henry aims to foster a community of people that can openly talk about their experiences and support each other. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
foreign [Applause] so I'd like to start by asking a few quick questions how many of you have said I'm okay I feel good nothing wrong here when actually you don't feel great it's not all good here and you're not okay fair enough uh now girls only how many of you would reach out to a friend or a family member when you're feeling stressed anxious or overwhelmed now guys same question how many of you would reach out to a friend or family member when you're feeling stressed anxious or overwhelmed okay so my name is Henry and I'm here today to talk about how toxic masculinity is negatively impacting men's Mental Health if you would have said to me on the 5th of March 2020 that I will be stood here today on this stage delivering this talk I wouldn't have believed you why the 5th of March 2020 that's a very specific date I know I know so let me tell you why this is something that I haven't really shared publicly before so why not do it on arguably one of the biggest talking platforms here today I woke up on this day the 5th of March 2020 feeling stressed anxious overwhelmed and initially I was physically unable to get up out of bed I don't think I'd ever felt so alone alone or tired but why did I feel like this well the practice of law is tough you may know somebody who's currently doing a law studies or who are currently practicing as a lawyer and they will probably tell you that it's just a little bit difficult right that coupled with trying to navigate your life in your mid-20s things such as finances getting your own place relationships moving out a global pandemic all just became a little bit too much so how did we get here how did we get to this point well I woke up and I went into the office as normal and it was all just a bit overwhelming whether it's School or were working how we spend our time during the work week is where we spend most of our days so when you've got a supportive environment when you have teaching staff peers co-workers that are there to support and guide you it lightens the load so to speak but what if you don't have that what if you have the opposite what if you have somebody who you don't quite know where you stand with somebody who doesn't support you and somebody who gaslights you what would you do well in my case what I would do is I would come into the office early to try and get some work done without them around I would go to the bathroom and throw up because I was so anxious stressed and overwhelmed I would go to the bathroom and cry because I couldn't handle the Working Day and then I go back up to my desk and carry on working I knew I had to do something I knew I couldn't keep going on like this but I was kind of embarrassed and I thought maybe I'm the problem maybe I'm doing something wrong thankfully a close friend of mine reached out because they realized that something wasn't quite right we also happen to be good friends so they would take me for coffees before work they would catch up with me during the day to make sure that I was doing okay and gradually over time I'd start telling them more and more about how I was feeling are weight lifted sharing my problems with somebody else over time I started telling my friend more and more and I started to realize that everything that was making me stressed anxious and overwhelmed was within my control to change so if the support and guidance that I needed that's what I did it may come as no surprise that the UK mental health Foundation found that one in eight men suffer with some kind of general anxiety or stress disorder but it's likely that those figures are actually higher and this is because a lot of cases that go undiagnosed or unreported due to the stigma around men reporting or sharing their problems but why is there such a stigma around men talking about their problems well men face unique challenges in that from a young age we are encouraged to suppress our emotions told that boys will be boys taught to be self-reliant and not talk about how we are feeling encouraged to have a masculine mindset and lavish Behavior reinforced by the behaviors that society places on us so if men aren't talking about the mental health problems what are they doing well research by the Harvard Business Review suggests the following three things escapism withdrawal and externalization escapism turning to alcohol or substance abuse men are three times more likely to turn to alcohol especially drinking alone the same with substance abuse withdrawal canceling plans taking more sick days not showing up to those School socials not showing up to those work activities and externalization exhibiting anti-social behaviors towards others low impulse control such as Reckless spending and high levels of irritability the most shocking risk of men not talking about their men's their Mental Health is male suicide suicide is a complex issue and generally there isn't one specific event or factor that results in somebody taking their own life it's usually a combination of a number of factors such as personal community or societal issues research by the UK government found that men who kill themselves are most likely from a lower socioeconomic group and are below the age of 50. so it is clear that men's mental health and male suicide are critical issues that affect all of us but what can we do what can we as a collective do to support men in their mental health Journey well I think there are three key ways that we can support them the first is recognizing that it starts with a conversation the second a small lifestyle changes that we can all make to help improve our lives and the final one is recognizing that men's mental well-being is a societal issue and not just an issue for men so let's start with the first one it starts with the conversation one of the most common themes amongst men who are struggling with their mental health is how lonely and isolated they felt from the people places and networks around them so we need to create a space where men feel comfortable and encouraged to talk about how they how they are feeling how can we do this well if you have a mate or a family member who you think they've been a bit quiet I've not heard from them in a while do they keep canceling the plans we'll reach out to them send them a text message give them a phone call FaceTime them it could make all the difference small Lifestyle Changes we can all make these small Lifestyle Changes which will have a huge positive impact in our lives many men who have gone through periods of Crisis and built themselves back up have tried these they have helped me and I hope that they may help you too these include cutting down on alcohol whilst tempting the depressive elements of alcohol actually make us feel worse physical activity when we move our bodies release positive endorphins many many again who have gone through periods of Crisis and were building themselves back up heavily invested in activities that made them feel good allow them to support others and created strong Networks so if you can go for that brisk walk because it can make all the difference it's a nice easy way to start if a mate seems off send them a message see if they want to go to the gym for a walk for a run to grab a coffee and finally let's recognize that we also need to stay social and I don't mean on social media physically being around other people can make us feel good and it can reduce feelings of loneliness and the last way that I think that we can positively push this conversation forward is by recognizing that men's mental health and men's well-being is a issue for all of us not just for men we all have a role to play in pushing this agenda forwards so how can we do that well we can start by challenging gender stereotypes we can let men know that there are resources available to them to talk about to share their problems and we can also develop specific programs for men to help them that cover the unique challenges that men face together let's build a space where we can all feel safe talking about and sharing our vulnerabilities all right cheers [Applause]
#Breaking #Silence #Men #Talk #Mental #Health #Henry #Nelson #Case #TEDxAUBG
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Congratulations for finding a way to understand and deal with your mental health struggles, @Henry. And also for speaking publicly about your challenges. More people need to do this!
if a woan says she is not ok she gets supoort from mena dn women when a man says that he is moocked and insulted by both men and women prove me wrong i dare all the motehrduckers on yt
I am going through a complete midlife and existential crisis. My marriage has failed. Two businesses shut down at 2023 starting a new career working two jobs 70 hours a week. Two amazing sons. I can't support my home. I wake up in the morning and the first thought my mind is about how worthless I am, how low I am on myself and how I can barely get myself out of bed to show up for life. But I continue to everyday day. I just don't know where to turn anymore. I'm falling apart the seams. It's so hard to find genuine people, especially men that I can feel comfortable around and let some of this internal worry and stress out all my brother's out there. I hope you're doing okay and if anyone out there has an ear to lend, I'm a good-hearted guy. I can really use the help and would love to help somebody else as well
There is no time or space for men to feel emotions. I'm very critical and perfectionist at work. Anything less than perfect is not good enough. If you had a cruel mother, you have a cruel life as a man.
It will take me time to sort through all of the variations and consequences of male mental health and ultimately overall wellness & happiness in relationships with themselves & others, including women and all of their potential uniqueness including their issues with mental/emotional health. I’ll try. I will think/feel/recall/research and apply what I already know & feel, as well; but I will TRY rather than generalizing or intellectualizing. I commit to this SEARCH into the Realities presented here, by many; thusly applying such to my own subjective and objective experience. It’s going to take me awhile to process this in perspective and understanding, empathy and compassion but also in practical yet objective application to being in such a complex relationship. (FIRST REACTION: No I didn’t know. In relationships I’m all heart, this will require my head, too; and at a level of astute attention to a multitude of questions, answers & variables. ) I can only promise to try, at this stage of awareness and understanding.
It will take me time to sort through all of the variations and consequences of male mental health and ultimately overall wellness & happiness in relationships with themselves & others, including women and all of their potential uniqueness including their issues with mental/emotional health. I’ll try. I will think/feel/recall/research and apply what I already know & feel, as well; but I will TRY rather than generalizing or intellectualizing. I commit to this SEARCH into the Realities presented here, by many; thusly applying such to my own subjective and objective experience. It’s going to take me awhile to process this in perspective and understanding, empathy and compassion but also in practical yet objective application to being in such a complex relationship. (FIRST REACTION: No I didn’t know. In relationships I’m all heart, this will require my head, too; and at a level of astute attention to a multitude of questions, answers & variables. ) I can only promise to try, at this stage of awareness and understanding.
in a year this have gained only 50k views ONLY 50k views let that sink in
Thank you Henry! 😊🙏🏻
Women: “You have no idea what’s like to feel alone and have no one to talk to”
🙂
What to do when someone just bangs in with more and more responsibility without thinking about their well-being?
Even if they ask, and don't mean it?
I wish men would talk including me but frankly I don't think it will ever happen. Unfortunately society sees men as being toxic by default and that all the ills of the world are their fault, so when men do open up it very, very rarely goes well…sadly I've learnt this the hard way. Even when I'm at my most down I never ever feel lonely. I always prefer my own company and that's why I always decline invites to social events and that includes my son's wedding next year. Thankfully he's very understanding and we've agreed that we will celebrate separately from the main event.
It's hard to keep up on everything now. It's stressful and there is no one to talk to.
Sadly no one care really. Just a few. I appreciate the words
Men definitely need to talk about their mental health but forget it because for the vast majority men it's never go to happen. I wouldn't do it and not one guy in my male friendship group would. A number of us have learnt from bitter experience that this is a luxury we can't afford because when we've tried it has been turned against us. Once bitten twice shy. In our group we've realised there is only one person you can trust 100% and that is yourself.
The more I feel depressed the more I want to stay alone; I simply do not want to see any people
I feel like unaliveing myself but no one cares aboute
Here are 20 important points from Henry Nelson's TEDxAUBG talk on why men need to discuss their mental health:
1. **Breaking Stigma**: Societal expectations pressure men to stay silent about emotions.
2. **Healthy Coping**: Talking prevents negative coping mechanisms like substance abuse.
3. **Emotional Strength**: Expressing emotions is a sign of strength, not weakness.
4. **Reducing Isolation**: Speaking up reduces feelings of loneliness.
5. **Mental Health Crisis**: Male suicide rates are higher due to repressed emotions.
6. **Challenging Masculinity Norms**: Men are conditioned to prioritize toughness over vulnerability.
7. **Building Empathy**: Talking about struggles fosters understanding and compassion.
8. **Improving Relationships**: Open communication enhances personal and professional relationships.
9. **Role Models**: Men who talk about their mental health become positive examples for others.
10. **Addressing Trauma**: Discussing emotional pain helps men process trauma healthily.
11. **Preventing Violence**: Bottled-up anger can lead to aggression or violence.
12. **Mental Health Awareness**: Raises awareness that men are equally vulnerable to mental health challenges.
13. **Creating Safe Spaces**: Men need environments where they feel safe to share their emotions.
14. **Self-Compassion**: Encouraging men to be kind to themselves when they experience mental health struggles.
15. **Resilience Building**: Vulnerability strengthens emotional resilience.
16. **Overcoming Shame**: Talking helps men overcome the shame associated with mental health issues.
17. **Therapeutic Benefits**: Conversations can be a form of therapy.
18. **Cultural Change**: Normalizing emotional openness in men leads to broader cultural shifts.
19. **Accountability**: Men who talk about their mental health hold each other accountable for self-care.
20. **Saving Lives**: Encouraging men to talk can reduce the number of male suicides and improve overall well-being.
I’m a new YouTuber and THIS is what my channel is about. I’d love to create a community because honestly I want to help others and also my life severely lacks likeminded people to talk about this stuff with 😢
Mens mental health sumed up in two words. "Im fine". End of conversation.
Cars horn too much in India
It’s hard to address men’s mental health with extreme feminism today.
It’s like men have traumas too. It goes both ways.
A close friend of mine reached out, we also happened to be close friends 😂 jokes aside, lots of love to you man for getting up there
Let’s be real – in professions like the military, law, medicine etc., ruthless competitors will use any admission of vulnerability like this to get ahead of you – he can talk about it now that he’s out but good luck otherwise
Very great and valuable insight! Unfortunately this video was released a couple of weeks too late…..
I tried to talk to a friend once. She told me to seek professional help and ghosted me after that. I believe we are able to reach out and talk but at this stage we have to be really cautious about who we choose to talk to
I don't have any friends, I'm extremely introverted and have social anxiety. This coupled with the fact that I don't like sports and I don't drink or smoke makes it very hard to connect with other men. When I get comfortable, I overshare and I feel people distancing themselves. So I put my walls up again. It's not easy making friends as a man. Most men have friends from childhood and keep those friends as they get older. I was home-schooled for my seconday years and no one kept in contact after college and there were no men in my classes in university, (Journalism isn't very popular I guess). I have 5 brothers but 2 are younger and 3 are married. I have two sisters but it's not the same as having a male connection. The only person I can talk to is God.
Survival above all else, guys. At the end of day you just gotta survive..