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Mental Health Awareness week: My partner's suicide made me help others | ITV News
A woman from Rugby whose partner took his own life four weeks before she had a miscarriage has been talking to ITV Central as part of Mental Health Awareness Week.
Claire Russell says she didn't notice any particular signs that her boyfriend Mark was feeling suicidal in the weeks leading up to his death.
She insists she will never get tired of people asking about her experience and says she hopes to help others through her own tragedy.
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my name's Claire Russell and just over a year ago my partner took his own life my initial impression of Mark was that he was a really confident guy I had loads of charisma so he it was kind of whenever he was in a room he was always the center of attention I came from big family so he had lots of siblings and lots of nieces and nephews and so he was really really just about having family around and that was that was kind of the thing that he enjoyed the most in the time running up to mark taking his life I I didn't notice any signs that he was he was particularly low we did talk a lot about he was his worries for the future because I was expecting a baby we were having a baby together and while that was something that he'd always longed for and he was really excited about I think that it also brought up some insecurities and some fear for him I think he was worried but I know he was worried about being a good enough dad on the day that mark died he was with me we went out for dinner and had just had a really nice evening catching up on our and our weekend during that evening we did talk about some of the things that he was that he was worrying about and talked about plans for the future and things like that and he was with me right up until about an hour or so before before we died and when he left me I I didn't know you know I didn't have any idea that he wasn't going to be coming back I just went into shock really for the next day or two I don't I don't really remember much of what happened I had something to cling on to really because I was expecting so I guess in that first couple of weeks I was still I was still clinging on to the fact that that though resistant to life that was dependent on me and you know I had to sort of had to just keep going me and you know try and look after myself but but unfortunately I lost the baby a few weeks after so four weeks after marks death I had a miscarriage amongst the baby it just seems so unfair to be going through that you know so soon after losing mark in the weeks after Mark's funeral I I went back to work in the business that I work which is a financial services business and I also went back to the volunteer work that I do with Samaritans one of the very early calls that I had was from somebody similar age 2 to mark who was he was suicidal I knew I would get a call like that because that you know that's very common at the Samaritans I wasn't sure how I was going to I was going to deal with that and actually I found that the experience that I'd had even though it was still very raw and very recent and very painful for me it actually helped me to understand what the person that I was speaking with was going through that's that made me start to think about how I could use what had happened in in a positive way I felt like I had to find a purpose in it and for something positive to come out of this horrific tragedy I decided that I would set up a business that through which I would work with large organizations and large businesses and help them to make a cultural change when it comes to mental health people have asked me if I ever get fed up of talking about it was to me and I don't I think you know this mark will always be a part of my life you know what I experienced and what I went through that's my experience and it's different to the experience that anybody else that Mark loved and loved mark will have everybody's experiences unique to them and you know this is this is my experience and it's a part of my life now and you know it's it's changed me it has changed you know what I will do with my life from from here on and and if I can continue to use that experience in a positive way and to help other people and you know to help other people to you know ask for help themselves or you know spot problems or issues and people around them then then it will all in some way have been worth it
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