Special Education Resource
Overcoming Burnout Felt By Special Needs Parents | Special Education Decoded
Recently, I went through a scenario that plays out daily in thousands of homes throughout the world…
I sat there quietly… the palm of my hand supporting my head.
Halfway between anger and despair… I felt lost, alone, afraid, and helpless.
My wife and I had just gone through yet another of our son’s nuclear meltdowns.
Not only was he loud and unruly… but this time, he became aggressive and took the frustration he felt out on me.
Though thousand of parents can 100% relate to this exact scenario… many can not.
As a parent of a child with special needs… I would tell them that they are lucky.
Because there is nothing worse than seeing your own child filled with so much anger that they would physically lash out against the person trying everything they can to help.
The exhaustion, depression, and burnout felt by parents of children with special needs is real… and can become serious, fast.
You want to be there, be strong, and focused for your family… but eventually, everything can unravel if you don’t take action now.
What I’m about to share… are some strategies my wife and I have used in an effort to keep everything together.
Today, we are going to discuss different strategies you, as a parent of a child with special needs, can use to avoid burnout…
RESOURCES; https://specialedresource.com/resource-center/category/articles
Strategies For Avoiding Burnout -Special Needs Parents
1. Actively Seek Time For Yourself
-EVERYONE Needs Time Away From Any Task
-Many Don’t Because It Seems Selfish
-Could NOT Be Further From The Truth
-The Opposite Is Actually True
-It’s Selfish NOT To Focus On Yourself, Because If You Don’t… You’ll Have Nothing Left To Give
**Bucket Analogy
A. Picture Your Life As A Bucket
B. The Contents Of That Bucket Are What You Have To Offer
C. This Bucket Can Only Be Re-Filled When You Are Actively Enjoying Yourself
D. If You Don’t Actively Fill That Bucket, It Will Soon Dry Up
E. When The Bucket Is Dry, Only Emptiness Remains
F. When Only Emptiness Remains, There’s Nothing Left To Give
G. So When Your Child, Boss, Spouse, Or Friends NEED You, You Have Nothing Left To Offer
H. You Can’t Give Happiness, Joy, and Love When You’re Miserable Inside
2. Communicate With Someone You Trust; Truthfully
-Today, Due In Large Part To Social Media… Most People Only Communicate Happiness, While Allowing The Truth To Internally Destroy Them.
-Fact; True Friends DO Care About You, Confide In Them
-Sometimes Simply Talking About It With A Trusted Adult Can Help Tremendously
3. Take A Break During Your Child’s Meltdown
-If You Find Yourself Becoming Emotional, Angry, Or Extremely Frustrated; Step Away
-Go Outside, Calm Down, And When You’re Ready; Come Back.
-A Quick Five Minute Break Can Truly Help Both You And Your Child
-In Fact, Your Child May Even Be Calmer When You Return
4.Positive Self-Talk
-Most People Tell Themselves Negative Things Without Even Thinking About It
-Things Such As;
A. I’m A Terrible Parent.
B. What Am I Doing Wrong?
C. I Don’t Know What I’m Doing.
D. I Wish I Could Just Make It All Better.
E. Maybe My Child Is Better Off Without Me.
F. My Child Hates Me.
G. Nothing Will Ever Change.
H. I Should Know What To Do.
I. ON AND ON AND ON…
-The Truth Is; No Instruction Manual Exists For Your Child
Every Child Is Different, Every Situation Is Unique
-Tell Yourself The Truth;
A. I Am A Great Parent!
B. I Am Trying My Best To Make A Difference!
C. I Know My Child Loves Me!
D. We WILL Find Something That Helps!
E. I’ve Helped My Child Through Other Situations, We Can Do This!
F. I Am Strong!
G. Nothing Will Stand In My Way!
-Positive Affirmations Multiple Times A Day Can Change Your Mindset Entirely
5. Community Support
-FACT: Thousands Of Parents Go Through This Scenario Daily
-Connect With Them
-Find What They’ve Done To Help With Their Situation
6. Be Consistent
-Just Like Consistency Helps Children… It Helps Parents Too
-Put A Plan In Place To Help Yourself And Stick To It
-Let Nothing Stand In Your Way Of Self-Care
Here’s the bottom line… Never, Ever, Under Any Circumstance Give Up On Yourself
Be Courageous And Keep Fighting!
If you have other children, be open with them about what’s going on. Whatever you’re feeling, they most likely are too…
For us, our daughter is equally as worried about her little brother as we are. We actively discuss the situation with her… because she sees how he treats us during his meltdowns.
Meltdowns affect everyone in a family… that’s a fact.
This includes YOU.
By focusing on yourself and keeping your bucket full… you’ll be better equipped to keep your family together and progressing positively, no matter the struggles that may lie ahead.
You are not alone.
It is not easy, but it can be manageable if you prioritize taking care of yourself!
Contact Us; Contact@SpecialEdResource.com
From all of us at specialedresource.com… thank YOU for watching this episode of Special Education Decoded!
We’ll catch you in the next episode!
– Recently I went through a
scenario that plays out daily in thousands of homes
throughout the world. I sat there quietly, the palm
of my hand supporting my head, halfway between anger and despair. I felt lost, alone, afraid and helpless. My wife and I had just gone through yet another one of our
son's nuclear meltdowns. Not only was he loud and unruly, but this time he became aggressive and took the frustration
he felt out on me. Though thousands of
parents can relate 100% to this exact scenario, many cannot. As a parent of a child with special needs, I would tell them that they're lucky because there is nothing worse than seeing your own child
filled with so much anger that they would physically lash out against the person trying
everything they can to help them. The exhaustion, depression and burnout felt by parents of children
with special needs is real and can become serious fast. You want to be there, be strong
and focused for your family, but eventually everything can unravel if you don't take action now. What I'm about to share
are some of the strategies my wife and I have used, along
with countless other parents in an effort to keep everything together. My name is Luke. Welcome to this episode of
Special Education Decoded. (energetic music) Before we tackle the subject of burnout among parents of children
with special needs, I'm hoping you can help. On the bottom right-hand
side of your screen, you will see a little logo
with the word subscribe on it. Click that real quick. Thank you so much. Today we're gonna discuss
four different strategies you as a parent of a
child with special needs can use to avoid burnout. First and most importantly,
actively seek time for yourself. Everyone needs time away
from any task or obligation. Dealing with extreme behaviors is often the most brutal
part of a parent's life. Many parents don't take time to themselves because it seems selfish. This unfortunate reality could not be further from the truth. In fact, the opposite is true. It's selfish not to focus on
yourself because if you don't, you'll have nothing left to give. To better illustrate this point, let's use the bucket analogy. Picture your life as a bucket. The contents of that bucket
are what you have to offer. This bucket can only be refilled when you are actively enjoying yourself. If you don't actively fill
the bucket, it'll soon dry up. When the bucket is dry,
only emptiness remains. When only emptiness remains,
there's nothing left to give. So when your child, boss,
spouse or friends need you, you have nothing left to offer. Summed up, you can't give
happiness, joy and love when you're miserable inside. Number two, communicate with
someone you trust, truthfully. Today, due in large part to social media, most people only communicate happiness, while allowing the truth
to internally destroy them. Here's a fact, true
friends do care about you. It's time you confide in them. Sometimes simply talking
about your situation with a trusted adult
can help tremendously. Number three, take a break
during your child's meltdown. If you find yourself
becoming emotional, angry or extremely frustrated, step away. Go outside, calm down, and
when you're ready, come back. A quick five minute break can truly help both you and your child. In fact, your child may even
be calmer when you return. Number four, positive self-talk. Most people tell
themselves negative things without even thinking about it, such as I'm a terrible parent. What am I doing wrong? I don't know what I'm doing. I wish I could just make it all better. Maybe my child is better off without me. My child hates me. Nothing will ever change. I should know what to do, and on, and on, and on. The truth is no instruction
manual exists for your child. Every child is different. Every situation is unique. You must begin telling yourself the truth. I am a great parent. I am trying my best to make a difference. I know my child loves me. We will find something that helps. I've helped my child
through other situations. We can do this. I am strong. Nothing will stand in my way. Positive affirmations multiple times a day can change your mindset entirely. Number five, community support. Here's a fact, thousands of parents go through a similar scenario daily. Connect with them. Find out what they've done
to help with their situation. And finally number six, be consistent. Just like consistency helps children, it helps parents, too. Put a plan in place to help
yourself and stick to it. Let nothing stand in
your way of self-care. Here's the bottom line, never ever, under any circumstance
give up on yourself. Be courageous and keep fighting. If you have other
children, be open with them about what's going on. Whatever you're feeling,
they most likely are, too. For us, our daughter is equally as worried about her little brother as we are. We actively discuss the situation with her because she sees how he treats
us during his meltdowns. If both my wife and I are available, one of us talks with our
daughter during the meltdown while the other works
through it with our son. If only one of us is home or available when a meltdown begins, we take breaks from working through it with our son to talk with our daughter. She's young and doesn't
understand what's going on. Not that we do either, but it's vital to make sure her questions get answered and that she knows we love both
her and her little brother. Also, we reassure her that he's not intentionally hurting us, but that something is bothering him, and he's not yet sure
how to communicate that. This inability to allow others
in on the emotions he feels leads to severe frustration,
which comes across as an out of control tantrum. Meltdowns affect everyone
in a family, that's a fact. This includes you. By focusing on yourself and
keeping your bucket full, you'll be better equipped
to keep your family together and progress positively, no
matter what struggles lie ahead. If you're looking for a community to help navigate these murky waters, we offer a closed Facebook group called Special Ed Parenting. We also have a tremendous
amount of resources available to you both on our website and on our YouTube channel. You are not alone. I know this because as I mentioned, I, too, deal with the struggles of parenting a child with special needs. It is not easy, but it can be manageable if you prioritize taking care of yourself. Please leave a comment with different ways you've been able to work
through your emotions during the process of meltdowns. Everyone, including myself, can benefit from community feedback. If you have any questions
regarding your journey, please leave a comment
or email us directly using the contact information located in the description for this video. From all of us at specialedresource.com, thank you for watching this episode of Special Education Decoded. We'll catch you in the next video. (electronic zaps)
#Overcoming #Burnout #Felt #Special #Parents #Special #Education #Decoded
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what do we do!?!?!?!?!??!??!!??!😢
It's so very difficult if you got 2…1 verbal & non-verbal…
Lord have mercy..
To anyone who needs to hear this: It WILL get better. You will come to understand your child’s diagnosis. You will learn what helps them (and what doesn’t). You will have good days worth taking photos of. Your life may not be unfolding the way you planned and that is OKAY. After a diagnosis your life will not be the same. Mourn that loss. Live with your feelings whatever they may be. Then, when you are ready, get back up off the floor and start moving forward. You CAN do it. I know you can do it, because i’m standing here on the other side of burnout and depression and if I can do it so can you!
Interesting video
Which special ed parenting group please?? Maybe take a screen shot? There are way to many to tell which one you have on Facebook?
I started intense daily exercise for the first time in my life. I’m 43 and am experiencing severe burnout. My husband is watching the kids every afternoon for an hour and a half. It’s been almost two weeks. Some days I’m feeling almost better but today our daughter had a couple intense behaviors and fussed all day. That’s why I’m here. I have an appointment to talk to my doctor to check my hormone levels too. EMDR music is helping me sleep. I’m just mentioning my struggles and possible solutions in case it helps someone else. ❤️🌈
I am a single Mom, no family and all of my "friends" gone, I am alone, I tired to find someone to get some respite the government gives me enough funding for 3.5 hours a week, and did hire some people who didnt work out..I had to give up my job. my child barely goes to school, either meltdowns so early pick up's, he gets sick alot in winter season, and our lives are extremely isolated, I have reached out to the "services" but no one can tell me what to do, they say, oh that not easy is it… But no solutions to our situation. I am depressed, I used to be such a positive person, I loved working and was very social. the past 13 years slowly but surely isolation has become unbearable, I cry waking up and cry when going to sleep. last week my child was in alot of pain and I got scared he had something serious going on.. he cannot talk… i called 911 and we got to the hospital as we sat there for hours with dr's trying to figure out what is wrong, I realized,.. no one cares about us.. there was no one to call. I thought to myself stop feeling so bad for yourself. but its reality. I am just settled in my mind and heart that this is what it is. and my life is over but I have to be here for my child as best I can. I got Burned out years ago.. its only the Grace of God I am still going..it is what it is. It just took a long time for me to accept that.
I have s special needs son. Sometimes I become very sad and emotional for him. Your speech is very encouraging in dealing with my situation.
But that's the thing.
I have mental health issues so I will vent that part so when the parental burntout begins, I have no one to talk with.
I feel like I'm bothering them.
I am a mom of 2 autistic kids, and I feel I am burning out.
I have no friends or family. My husband has to work because bills are crazy, a food cost more then all our bills. My boys disabilities are killing me.
What if you can't step away? Because the child is aggressive/violent?
We r so tired
Thank you for this video
Thank you💝🙏🏻💜🙌🏻💝
Thanks for this… some days are very draining, my 6yr old is autistic and sometimes even trying to do simple things like taking my kids to the park is a complete meltdown that drains my energy for the rest of the day 😩
This whole week I know I'm feeling burnout out because I feel like I'm running an asylum for unmedicated lunatics, everything I do goes to shit. It's the joy of special needs parenting.
I can so relate. I have two young adults, a teenager and a spouse with special needs
You nailed this! The mental game in raising children with special needs is where we make it or break. And YAS to prioritizing personal time. It is apparent to everyone that interacts with me on a daily basis that I am a much better person when I take personal time. Thank you for this content! And putting goodness out into our community
This is a lot of pablum. There are so many parents with no money, no resources and/or parenting alone while also working one of multiple jobs.
How can you possibly "go outside" and leave a melting down or violent child alone?
Single mum 4 kids here with no support at all and only my boy 5 non vebal with behave issues there is no time for a second break , burn out and feeling like shit
❤️
Thank you so much for sharing. My stepson is almost 12. I have never dated someone with a special needs kid. I have been in his life almost 3 years. There have been extreme highs and lows. He is quite explosive and impulsive at times. On the other hand, out of 3 sons total(I’m the non biological parent) he is my right hand man. I pray from him more then I pray for myself. Out of all the kids he is my biggest supporter. He helps me when the other boys don’t. When I am working in the yard he jumps right in to help. Recently I got so upset and overwhelmed that I told the biological parent that if he she didn’t get help for her son he could no longer reside there.😭 I was at a breaking point when I said it. But I admit, I said it. He had become violent towards teachers, grandma and brothers which could have lead to a fatality in the home. By the grace of God it didn’t. He was rushed to the hospital. 😭🙏🏾🙏🏾. But I could see his deterioration more and more each week. To the point of no longer feeling safe in the home. How as a stepparent can you overlook something like this. You can’t, you just can’t. Now biological parent doesn’t think we should stay together because raising this child has really turned me into a very moody grump. Most of the time. 😔 I have been stuck and unsure how to recover from his last explosion and so is my other half. It almost seems that I am being blamed for how moody I am as to why our relationship is no longer working. When in my opinion, parenting just him alone on top of 2 other siblings in the home has molded me into being a very Unlikable person in the home 😔