Dr Sarah Nicholls
Your ULTIMATE self-care guide
Your ultimate self-care guide.
This video will show you how to build a self-care routine that *actually* makes you feel better, healthier and makes your life easier. A good self-care routine doesn't have to cost a lot of money and in this video I'll show you how to make it a relaity for you. Good self-care habits are the foundation for personal growth. These are easy self-care habits that will change your life for the better. Over the past few years I've been incorporating self-care habits that make my life easer so I can live my best soft life. Let me show you how to do the same, with a self-care routine you'll actually want to follow.
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00:00 Intro
01:16 What self-care actually means
01:53 Looking after the 3 versions of you
02:55 People-pleasing and self-care
04:00 The excuses that might stop you
07:17 The layers of self-care
14:15 6 ways to fit self-care into your life
when we talk about self-care what is the first thing that Springs to mind maybe it's expensive manicures or those LED face masks spa days and yes while these things are all absolutely lovely and can 100% be part of your self-care routine I want to show you how to build a self-care routine that actually makes you feel better on a deep level from the inside out and I also want to show you that having a self-care routine that properly helps you does not have to cost the Earth in fact pretty much all the things I'm going to be sharing in this video are free or don't cost a lot of money do not need to go and empty your bank account to be able to do this stuff so in this video I'm going to be sharing with you the exact framework that I teach my coaching client except you are getting it all for free if we haven't met before I'm Dr Sarah I'm a medical doctor and an online coach and I help Healthcare professionals get out of survival mode so if that's you check out the description box down below for some freebies and for the link to my membership so here is what we're going to be covering in today's video and of course I'll leave time stamps below as well so you can skip through to the bits that are the most important to you and if you enjoy this video please go ahead and give it a thumbs up make sure you're subscribed if you're not already hit that notification Bell so you don't miss any of my videos so let's get clear about what we actually mean when we're talking about self-care so here is my definition of self-care self-care is recognizing taking responsibility for and fulfilling your own needs so first of all recognizing your own needs actually becoming aware of what your mind and body are telling you that they need secondly stepping up and taking responsibility for those needs and thirdly going ahead and making the time making the effort to fulfill those needs yourself I like to think of good self-care as looking after the three versions of yourself your past self your present self and your future self so if you think about it when you're looking after yourself really well when you're doing the things that move you towards your goals you are looking after that past ver version of you you are saying to past you look I'm doing it I'm making your dreams happen and you're laying the foundations for future you to build upon so think about it this way right now I feel really good I have energy I feel well I'm well rested I've been eating well and that's because yes I'm taking good care of myself like today in the present moment also I've been doing that for days weeks months so past me has laid the foundations for me feeling well and living a good life today and the sad reality is that the majority of people that I coach are healthc Care Professionals who are burnt out who are living in survival mode and we are so used to giving giving giving we give way too much of ourselves our time our energy our resources we're giving away all of the time we leave nothing for ourselves we don't even meet our basic needs a lot of the time I heard a phrase recently which is setting yourself on fire to keep those around you warm I think this is really good analogy of what we do when we're ignoring our own selfcare this is why I talk so much about people pleasing on this channel because when you're a people pleaser you neglect your own needs for the sake of everyone else around you this is not it this is not how to live a good life this is a recipe for disaster I used to live like this I used to say that I got by on caffeine cortisol and dry shampoo and that was so true because I was living this crazy busy life giving away all my time and energy to everybody else and not really meeting my own basic needs and that was a recipe for resentment being unhappy being exhausted all the time frankly being ill all the time so if you've been on my social media before you have probably heard me banging on about taking Exquisite care of yourself and that is exactly why I've spent years digging myself out of this pit of not looking after myself very well just being tired and exhausted all the time and I feel so much better for it now and I really want to pass this message on and help you do the same because life doesn't have to be this way life is not meant to be a struggle all the time okay so you might be thinking to yourself great I really want to take good care of myself Sarah but I don't have time I've got kids I've got a really busy job all of these things now let me tell you our brains Love The Familiar our brains love our habits our brains love routines we love to know what is predictable for us and this is why we get stuck in bad habits and bad routines and bad bad Cycles because they're familiar and it's hard to start new things so our brains come up with reasons why we can't do the hard thing and why we can't do the thing that actually benefits Us in order to stay safe and to stay familiar so our brains will tell us things like I don't have time because I've got kids I don't have time because I've got this busy job when I'm off of work I should be spending that time with my friends and family it would be selfish for me to go and take myself off and have some self-care time I've got way too many chores to do to be able to take self-indulgent time for self-care this is our brain trying to tell us to stay in the familiar so I just wanted to let you know about that because this is definitely something that I see coming up time and time again with coaching clients and with myself so yeah just wanted to make you aware of that in case your brain starts coming up with lots of reasons and excuses why you can't do things and another thing that I saw recently that really inspired me was that you can use those things as your excuse use or you can use them as your Catalyst that message hasn't hit home then I'm going to give you some tough love and say that actually if you're not taking the best possible care of yourself it's actually selfish now hold up hold up hold up you're going to be like Sarah that's really harsh if you're willfully neglecting your own self-care you are actively not showing up as your best self you're choosing not to show up to your life as the best version of you you're making a decision to neglect your own self-care needs but a responsibility to take good care of yourself we are not in the business of just scraping by just getting through the week just surviving we're here to give ourselves an incredible life to have Adventures to explore to have fun to experience joy every day to fill our lives with nourishment and excitement rest and relaxation as I've gotten older I've slowly awakened to this idea that the better care I take of myself the better my life becomes in all areas my relationships improved my health has improved the small Act of selfcare that we do every day compound and they have a massive effect over time that feeling of well-being that you have when you take really good care of yourself robs off on other people they become inspired by you taking such good care of yourself it almost gives them permission to do the same I want to remind you that the goal for all of this stuff is not to do it perfectly goal is to show up for yourself consistently show yourself that you're worthy of a good life and to show yourself that you deserve to be taken care of and you can do that for yourself and to remember that you do not have to sacrifice your own health and well-being for the sake of other people for the sake of your job you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep everyone around you warm okay so let's actually get you on track with your self-care here's how I teach self-care to my coaching clients so you've probably heard of maso's hierarchy of needs maslo proposed that humans have layers of needs and that we only start looking to fulfill the higher needs once our most basic needs are met so starting at the base of the triangle we have physiological needs these are our most basic needs as a human being these need to be taken care of first and foremost like it's hard to go about your day-to-day life if you're completely exhausted all the time you're just literally not getting enough sleep that was me or not meeting your basic nutritional requirements or not getting any exercise or if you have a health problem that you've just been ignoring so these are all the first things I address with my clients getting good quality sleep eating a nutritious diet whatever that looks like for you getting plenty of exercise again whatever looks best for you and taking care of any health complaints that you might have making sure that you've booked into the Opticians you've got your dentist's appointment you've seen your GP for that health problem that you've been ignoring this is why I say that there's no point in getting that expensive manicure there's no point in using that led mask every day and going to the spa if you've completely ignored the fact that you're dehydrated you've completely ignored the fact that you've only been sleeping four or five hours a night for the last few years the next layer is your safety needs so this is about feeling safe in your life so moving to a safe neighborhood being around people who are safe getting out of relationships with people who are toxic setting boundaries in your life and creating emotional safety so having the chance to speak to a therapist or a coach doing journaling talking to friends and family about your emotions and this is why I talk about making my home into my personal Sanctuary doing things to make your home feel cozy getting nice lighting getting nice soft Furnishings adding things into your home make it feel safe secure homely and again it doesn't have to cost a lot of money but this is absolutely something you can do to increase your feeling of personal safety budgeting and creating an emergency fund for yourself as I've said in previous videos I've been that person who's been at the bottom of my overdraft maxed out the credit cards not had enough money to pay for my food shop wondered how I'm going to pay the next bill it's not a fun place to be it's not a secure place to be it does not feel good and I don't want to go back to that place so creating safety nets for yourself over time adding a bit of money to a savings part every month to build up that security for yourself for future you you're laying the foundations for your future self next layer is love and belonging so feeling connected to other people feeling like you fit in that you belong not feeling like you have to change yourself to be able to be accepted as part of a group having connections with people that really just get you finding your people not trying to change and mold yourself into a version of you that they'll accept but actually being the real you and finding friends and connections with people who actually want to be around you and I think one of the biggest life lessons as you're growing up is realizing that it's okay to let go of those friendships or those relationships with people where you find yourself trying to mold yourself to those people sometimes it's actually better to be lonely and to not have those relationships than it is to try and like change yourself you have to get to a place where you're okay with being on your own and not being surrounded by the wrong people just because they happen to be there the next layer is esteem needs now I talk a lot about confidence on this channel and a lot with my coaching clients about confidence so I could go on about this one for ages so here are a few things that you can do for self-care to boost your sense of esteem giving yourself time so giving yourself time before you start giving it away to everybody else this was a game Cher for me especially coming out of being a people pleaser giving myself a bit of a morning routine before I start work so that I am filling my own cup before I start pouring out to everybody else showing yourself that you're worthy and that you're capable of doing hard things so booking yourself onto that course learning a new skill showing up for yourself being disciplined committing to the workout program and actually doing it being realistic about what you can actually do in one day not writing yourself gigantic to-do lists and then getting annoyed that you haven't actually completed everything on that to-do list but realistically you never were going to be able to because there's 1,000 things on there can you tell that I'm speaking from experience respecting yourself enough to dream big and to apply yourself to New Challenges not self-sabotaging I'm currently reading the book The Mountain Is You by Brianna west and I am learning so much about self-sabotage I'll leave that Linked In the description box below and it talks a lot about how we hold ourselves back from opportunities because we don't feel like we're worthy of them dealing with anything like that I'd highly recommend reading this book it's brilliant applying for that course starting that YouTube channel starting the business that you've been thinking about for ages so getting to know yourself really well so really having a good understanding of your own strengths your abilities what your core values are what drives you as a person thanking your past self for the decisions and the commitments that have got you to where you are today and committing to your future self that you will continue working to build a beautiful life for yourself respecting yourself enough to be well-groomed and to dress in the clothes that make you feel good there's something magical about presenting yourself in the way that you want to and feeling good in your clothes ironing your clothes keeping your shoes clean treating yourself to nice things and nice experiences now I know I said at the start of this video that this isn't about spending money but this can mean anything this can mean taking yourself out for 10 minutes to sit in the Sun and just enjoy listening to the birds and relaxing the next layer is intellectual needs so for example reading instead of Doom scrolling I know that this is groundbreaking but actually doing something to stimulate your mind rather than just being fed thought form content pushing yourself to learn something new like a new language or a musical instrument learn about different cultures and religions self-development so taking courses is having coaching and the next layer is about making life as easy and joyful and peaceful as possible I made a whole video about this called Soft life and you guys seemed to love that video If you haven't seen it I'll link it up above this is about making life comfortable for yourself making life easy like not over complicating things and adding in as much ease and peace as possible so adding in things like meditation or prayer spending time in nature writing in a gratitude Journal watching sunrises and sunsets listening to relaxing music and doing things that make your future life easier so setting up your outfits for the week ahead or making yourself lunches for the week ahead so I've told you all this great stuff and you're probably like yes Sarah this sounds amazing but how how do I actually fit this into my current life so I'm going to give you six ways that you can incorporate this into routines in your life first of all I'd like you to think about where you are starting so I know I gave you those different layers and the tears so what are you most missing from your life if you are literally scraping by right now and feeling like I'm not eating very well I'm not exercising very well I'm not sleeping very well like get those Basics sorted first and foremost and really focus on those double down go all in focus on them for a good 30 days you know continue focusing them on on them for the rest of your life but like really go hard hard for the next 30 days and say I'm going to be so disciplined with my sleep and going to bed early I'm going to be really good at making sure that I do some yoga every day because it makes me feel good I'm going to make sure that I get my five a day fruit and veg to make myself feel good every day or whatever that looks like for you if you start doing these things and make them a regular part of your day you'll eventually start doing them on autopilot you won't even think about it it'll be like brushing your teeth you just go ahead and do it without really thinking about it you already have habits and routines in your life and do something called habit stacking which is just adding a habit onto another habit that you already do so if you're already brushing your teeth you add another habit onto that which could be taking your vitamins i' highly recommend reading the book Atomic habits if you want to learn more about building good habits into your life and I've linked my habit tracker down in the description box below so if you want to grab that it's totally free and you can use that to start building these habits into your daily routine the ways that I've built self-care into my routine and how I help my coach clients and of course if we were on a onetoone call or on a group call I'd be able to help you with this a bit more closely but you can work this stuff out for yourself just by watching this video so first of all is a morning routine and this is all about giving yourself some time first thing before you go out into the world and start giving your time and energy to everybody else you're doing something for you so build a morning routine that makes you feel good there are plenty of videos out there including some of mine where people are talking about what they do in the morning to make themselves feel good you can experiment and figure out what that looks like for you it doesn't have to follow some strict regimen it doesn't have to follow what everyone else is doing find what works for you and meets your self-care needs this changed my life when I was busy and overwhelmed and a total people pleaser I used to wake up in the morning and immediately be on someone else's timeline because I didn't give myself any time in the morning I was just like right get up go to work you know I'm immediately on that was not fun so getting up early and giving yourself a bit of time to just be yourself and have a slow start to your day second way that you can add self-care into your life is to plan ahead do whatever you can to make life easier for future you so planning your meals ahead planning your week ahead planning your outfits ahead make life easy the third way that I like to do this is with a weekly reset so I've mentioned this a couple of times on this channel but if you want me to make a full length video about my weekly reset then do let me know I actually do a weekly reset and a monthly reset and basically what this looks like is me planning the meals for the week and sometimes doing some batch cooking cleaning the house running any errands and getting really clear on what the week ahead looks like this just helps me feel calm and ready for the week ahead and allows me to start the week on a fresh slate so yeah if you want me to make a video about that just let me know in the comments the fourth way of doing this is adding in guilt-free relaxation to your week you may have heard me talking about this before guilt-free relaxation is when you are properly Switched Off you've taken off your work identity you've taken off the identity of having to be a partner a friend a sister a brother any of those labels that we have and just giving yourself some time to just be you having some time in your week where nobody needs you nobody wants you and you can just switch off I never used to do this I used to think about work constantly I would be at work and then I would come home and worry about work would spend my weekends feeling anxious about work I would dream about work so although I was only working a certain number of hours a week in my own mind I was at work all the time and so you have to be able to come up with ways of taking that identity off guilt-free relaxation is a time to do this ideally you'd be doing this as much as possible but with my coaching clients I always suggest starting with two hours a week actually put it in your schedule and say like Saturday afternoon I'm giving myself two hours and I am going for a long walk or a swim nobody's going to need me nobody's going to want me you know if you've got kids get them make sure they're looked after if you've got other responsibilities make sure they're sorted and just go and have some you time the fifth way of adding self-care is your regular routine this is a fun one this is a monthly date day again this is something I get all my coaching clients to do take yourself somewhere lovely and just relax go and do whatever you want now in an Ideal World I suggest that we all have like a day a month that we go and do this I realize that this might not be realistic or achievable for all of us but even if you can schedule in an afternoon once a month or a morning once a month where you go and take yourself somewhere lovely and you just enjoy it whether that's going off for a beautiful walk somewhere or going and having a look around some shops or an art gallery go and do something lovely that is different from your usual routine and just switch off and enjoy yourself and finally the sixth way that I suggest adding self-care into your routine is by using a habit tracker I already mentioned it earlier in this video and I have linked it down below I've got a short video where I explain exactly how I use that so you can go check that out on my channel and that is it guys I hope you've enjoyed this video I know it's been a long one but I wanted to do a deep dive so that you've got a really good understanding of what self-care actually looks like and how to build that into your habits routines and systems of your day-to-day life so let me know down in the comments if you've enjoyed this video make sure you leave a thumbs up if you aren't subscribed I would absolutely love to have you be part of this family part of this community make sure you hit the notification Bell so you don't miss any of my videos and I will see you in the next one and just as a side note I want to say thank you to all of you for leaving such lovely comments under my videos recently I am loving reading all these comments that are coming through and I just feel like we're building a bit of a little Community here so thank you thank you for being part of this
#ULTIMATE #selfcare #guide
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Great help thanks
Thanks
Thank you so so much Sarah !! What a lovely beautiful gift you are,I'm so so inspired and I feel loved cherished,you have a true healing gift and voice!! I adore you,bless you big time!! God richly bless you and all you love!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😂😂😂😂😂
I just stumbled on your video today. I have realized I need to start taking better care of myself. I'm 73 and I've had a couple of falls and I realized I need to strengthen my body as well as change some of my other habits. Thank you for your video . I'm now subscribed😊
I am a teacher nit a health care professional but can relate yo so much you said. Watching this from my bed as I have a flu that won't go away after 6 weeks of pushing through finally gave in. Yup had set myself on fire
Yes, please do a video on your resets!
My birth surname was Nicholls and I have a sister called Sarah who although she is now married and has another surname now, had Nicholls alao as her birth surname, so I think the fates must have guided me to your vide as just what I needed to hear. I sturggle to find any balance whereby I have a regular amount of time to think of my own needs and it is due to the looking after other peoples needs thing. As I am getting older Im finding that Im not only struggling finding a balance with the amount I have done in the past but due to an increasing situation with two aspects, I now have more other peoples needs to support and help with. I also have a lot of issues with the old confidence and esteem self esteem thing soIm watching you on a day when at dinnertime whilst talking to someone I just started crying and I know it is because of the stress of it all. So your words have come at just the right time to resonate in a way I needed to hear. Thank you
They say things come into your life exactly when you need them. Mad as it sounds currently on sick due to what started as flu symptoms then found out another issue with my health. This is time to reset myself & deveolp routines into my life to improve my well being as well as my physical health. Thank you for your advice which is helping me to return to a job which I love. Currently missing my work family who I popped it to see today. They are wanting me back but not until am ready to return. I call anything that a hurdle in life a reroute to get me back onto my life path that is best one to be on.
I love your content! i was just wondering what made you realise that life doesnt have to require constant struggle/stress? i recently had this epiphany too ahah
❤ Thank you Sarah. You are an inspiration. x
Gush I don’t like her accent. Sorry
I love that you remind us that we don't have to sacrifice our own well being for the sake of others, so many times in my past I wanted to make sure that others were taken care of before me.
Its a lovely video, thank you ❤
Loved your video.
Your videos a gold 💖
– fellow Dr from Iceland
Many thanks for sharing your personal life lessons and advice. It is valuable tips. 😊
This is exactly where I am and needed to find. I feel like I'm crumbling apart trying to live in a chaotic way that my physical self cannot support any longer…
Thank you. I’m 72 years old, and I need to change my life. You are so young, and so wise. I’m going to start my self care tomorrow.
I’m not sure having your nails done is not a to do item. I’ve rarely spent the money on that, but when I did I felt great.
You see your nails, and when they are professionally manicured, you feel pretty! I did notice that.
This is beautiful, so helpful,practical,I really enjoyed this and I also love your voice, it's feminine pretty and even paced,you are easy to follow and I also took notes. I'm a Transformational Life Coach and this is so so good!! Thank you Sarah ❤
Wow Sarah. Hi. Caffeine cortisol and dry shampoo?! Have you been watching me? 😂 I’m a registered nurse. And a daughter of aging parents. And I have three kids in college. And I am strung out, frazzled, tired, living on Celsius, and ready for a change! You are awesome.
Thank you xx
This month I want to improve with meal planning and waking up at 7a to have more time for exercise 1st thing in the morning.
I am a nurse who just found you today. I am thriving and I want to continue to keep my momentum going.
Wwwoooooow thanx a lot 🙏🏻
Would love to see your resets
Wow…that was so helpful. I always think I need to set goals for myself to make myself do things I don’t seem to have time for. It’s amazing how many of those things are self care items. Thinking of those as ways to care for myself is a very helpful idea. There are so many ways I can take care of myself so I won’t be so tired.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS GREAT INFORMATION WITH ME ❤
I really enjoyed the vlog I think it's like a life saving suggestions ,🌟
Great tips! Thanks for sharing.
Good video thanks. I was at the point where all I thought about was work and trying to stop being like that- very helpful advice here. Can you do a video on the weekly reset?
Give me 1moths
I can't buy your programmes will listen just happy not American blog xx
I need to change my habit but September starting ballet which went to June but their on hols now. I have got to comforty In my house 😢
I am on a plan I had chippy but not done for so many months was ok . And I used to lye what eat as so much pressure to be well in this country UK ND glad I have clicked.
You are beautiful with brains ❤
First time ,i watch your video wich is very impressed me a lot
Thank you
I really enjoyed a watching 🎉
Thank you.
I’m a mother of small children and every form of self care feels a luxury I can never have 😢 I can’t even sleep properly because of night feeds but Ill still follow all your points
Dear Dr Sarah, thank you for your lovely videos – thank you for sharing your wisdom! I am amazed that someone as young as you has already obtained so much wisdom. I love listening to your beautiful peaceful voice, you immediately put me at ease. My life is completely upside down right now – but listening to you helps me to make sense and get my feet back on the ground again. Thank you and God bless you! ❤
Hello there
Can you please help with ones who are relocating to another country, packing the whole house. It’s very tiring and draining
Loved this, many thanks.❤😊
Thanks!
Loved this
Something I’ve struggled with recently, does anyone have advice? So this year has been the worst for me mentally and physically and i kind of lost all support from friends? And when i spoke to one friend recently she just mentioned how she felt she was trying a lot to make me happy when we last hung out but off if im struggling I wasn’t my old happy carefree self. And i read a quote recently smth like if you can share my wins then you can share my pain? Something like that. Idk i feel like bad obviously people dont want to be around sad people but shouldn’t my friends support me? Are they friends if they only want to see me when im happy? Idk if i explained that well 🙁
Thank you. Very inspiring
Omg coffee, cortisol and dry shampoo! Yes that is me right now!! So glad I found your channel! ♥️
Such common sense to look after ourselves first, thank you for breaking it down into bite size pieces.