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6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Love
Love may drive us wild, taking us on highs and lows. Without being taught the “how” on how to navigate love, we can inadvertently act out dysfunctional patterns in our relationships. Even the truest kind of love can turn toxic if we’re not careful. Are you in a healthy relationship or an unhealthy relationship?
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Suggested Video(s):
7 Signs Someone Is Obsessed With You, Not Love
Original article:
https://psych2go.net/6-differences-between-healthy-and-unhealthy-love/
Writer: Chloe Avanasa
Script Editor: Kelly Soong & Denise Ding
Script Collaborator: Cobse – https://www.youtube.com/user/spriteOY
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Alethea Van Holland
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong
Special thanks to Yumi, support her at her channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCu88mvBbWHh7Q_QEaxlR3Iw/featured also feel free to connect with her at yumika@psych2go.net
Founder: Tai Khuong
References:
Am I in a Healthy Relationship? Nemours Foundation. April 2008. Available at: www.uwec.edu/counsel/pubs/bhr.htm. Accessed on: February 12, 2013.
Building Healthy Relationships. University of Wisconsin-Eua Claire Counseling Services. Available at:www.uwec.edu/Counsel/pubs/selfhelp/bhr.htm. Accessed on: February 12, 2013.
Gottman’s Relationship Tips 101. The Gottman Institute. Available at: www.gottman.com/49804/Self-Help-and-Tips.html. Accessed on: February 12, 2013.
Healthy Relationships. The University Health Center, University of Georgia. Available at: www.uhs.uga.edu/CAPS/relationships.html. Accessed on: March 30, 2009.
Fair Fighting: The Art of Managing Differences in Intimate Relationships. University of Florida Division of Student Affairs. Available at: www.counseling.ufl.edu/cwc/fair-fighting-in-intimate-relationships.aspx. Accessed on: February 12, 2013.
Ten Tips for Healthy Relationships. K-State Counseling Services. Kansas State University. Available at: www.k-state.edu/counseling/topics/relationships/relatn.html. Accessed on: March 30, 2009.
Wellness Tips, Fair Fighting Rules. Southwest Institute for Addictive Diseases. Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center. Available at: www.ttuhsc.edu/centers/SWIAD/eap/wellness/fairfight.aspx. Accessed on: March 30, 2009.
Have questions? Send us an email at yumika@psych2go.net
hi there psych2go fans thank you for your continued support and for bringing new friends to learn more with us love it's a word that holds weight feels good love is an instinctive emotion most of us feel yet is not fully understood being a complicated emotion in spite of the ubiquity and universality of love we are rarely taught the how or what love really means we simply navigate our relationships and hope we'll figure it out along the way love may drive us wild causing dysfunctional patterns in our relationships even the truest kind of love can turn toxic if we're not careful with that in mind here are six key differences that can help us distinguish between healthy and unhealthy love one intensity versus stability remember back to that new relationship feeling when everything is just incredible in the beginning you get a rush of emotions and that high intensity of affection that gives you a sort of euphoria when you're together in a healthy relationship these emotions mature and stabilize they grow into a fondness and relaxed deep affection instead of staying at a feverish unstable high contrast this with an unhealthy relationship where the deepening maturity and calmness doesn't happen the intensity persists you spend virtually all your time together constantly checking in when apart and there are upsets when the other person doesn't reciprocate the smothering attention that good intensity has now turned negative and feels uneasy instead of euphoric two isolation versus independence isn't it thoughtful and romantic when your partner asks you out and makes plans with you this depends on how often and when it happens healthy love involves a sense of independence you stay connected to the important people in your life and continue to be able to participate in your own pursuits unhealthy love involves a sense of isolation cutting you off from everything in your life that is not your partner they become your one and only priority thus your only source of happiness they will question or guilt you if it seems you're deriving happiness or enjoyment from anything other than them this is not love it's controlling possession three concern versus jealousy we may not want to admit it but jealousy is a normal part of any relationship it's okay to feel occasionally insecure and want assurance from your partner just as long as jealousy does not get out of hand healthy love is all about open communication and listening to each other it means setting mutually comfortable boundaries and having mutual trust unhealthy love is all about wild and irrational jealousy the unreasonable kind that can never be reassured your partner may become possessive of you and start invading your privacy they may read your messages and restrict who you can and can't interact with they need to know who you're with and where you are at all times there may also be frequent accusations of infidelity like cheating or flirting even when you're not four teasing versus belittling once you become more comfortable with one another you might start playfully teasing or lightly ribbing on each other even in front of others that's a sign of healthy love that you feel secure enough and know each other well enough to laugh slightly at yourselves you both know when to stop and no feelings are hurt unhealthy love on the other hand crosses over the lines and the teasing isn't light it's belittling insulting and humiliating maybe your partner decides to share embarrassing knowingly private information to get laughs and adaptation from other people they may purposely make fun of you for something they know is hurtful even worse is that they likely won't even apologize for it twisting it so it seems like you're the one with a problem by being too sensitive and overreacting five generosity versus manipulation healthy love does not require payback or an exchange you give freely of your time energy money and whatever else may be needed from you because you care about them and want happiness for them there is no attempt to purchase desired behavior healthy love is selfless while unhealthy love is selfish unhealthy love gives not out of generosity but with expectations of something in return it's a transaction it can look like them offering you a ride to work in the morning and in exchange you'll be expected to stop your painting hobby that makes you leave every thursday night for classes the reasoning used to hide it because if you really love them you do it this is manipulation not love and six honesty versus volatility the final but highly important aspect is that healthy love is honest but not manipulative the openness about your feelings wants and thoughts are shared for the pure reason of better mutual understanding this being so you can be a stronger support to each other and grow closer there is no hidden motive just open healthy communication in unhealthy love the honesty shared is volatile it involves tearful fights screaming terrible low blow things at each other then panicly begging the other partner to come back because you can't function without them your relationship feels constantly unsafe and insecure with emotions soaring or plummeting with no consistency when you love someone it can be difficult to accept the realities surrounding them and your relationship with them once the shiny new relationship smell wears off we all struggle at being good at times so it feels hypocritical to fault others for that same struggle we wrongly believe that if there is love imperfections are all negligible to be dismissed or ignored this is a dangerous idea to entertain as it makes us more vulnerable to abuse and mistreatment everyone deserves to be treated with decency courtesy kindness and care knowing the difference between what's healthy and unhealthy and love can help you better understand your relationships and assess whether they're good for you healthy love is open communication mutual respect trust and compatible values if your relationship lacks all of these then it may be time to consider if it's a love that's not meant to last hey guys it's yumi you guys may have seen me in a most recent video seven signs is obsession not love i hope you guys found that video insightful and learn something new from it today's video is brought to you by better help an online platform for counseling and therapy services if you guys know anyone that can benefit from it i'm going to leave a link in the description box below because supporting them means supporting our channel too whether you are battling through anxiety or depression better help is an amazing platform to get you started in becoming a better you i want to say thank you for all of your support and until next time bye guys did this video provide any insight into your life and your connections do you think someone you know may appreciate this topic please like comment share and subscribe until next time thanks for watching
#Differences #Healthy #Unhealthy #Love
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Thank you for sharing this. 🙏 I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on this episode. 🤔
Thank you for sharing this. 🙏 I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on this episode. 🤔
i really wanted to hear this but every day feels like an eternity without my husband by my side. The ache in my heart refuses to subside, and I'm consumed by memories of our life together. I long for his return and the chance to rebuild our love.
There's a difference between a fictional and non-fictional love
great video. I never imagined writing about a breakup after eight years together. The pain was like nothing I’d ever felt, leaving me to pick up the pieces of my heart. I still hope we can come back to each other someday.
Hi😄😄😄!!!!!! You been doin okay? YOUR STILL AOMM😄🫠. Farealz.. ain't much changed in that area .things are moving right along down this💣way.. weather is getting better and that's a dang good thing .able to go out and do things and work .I really hope all is good for you 😄..enjoy the rest of your day ok😄
Lordt I was unhealthy 😮💨
I have done….. most of these….. both positive and negative and I really need to work on every one of them. Even though I haven't been with anybody in 5 years. I need to learn and grow.
I'm really stupid, i should more care about her
So I never had healthy realtionship
I'm starting to experience this but not too much. And now I'm thankful that I got to see this vid, realizing on what I needed to fix this
Yeah maybe unhealthy, but fucking amazing! ❤
💕 so helpful… I feel seriously lighter after this video.
🌏🌏🌧☁️☀️😊 🙏🏿 Amen
i personally feel like this video idealizes love to it's atom…..i think there is a tolerance to everything said above.
Chat am I cooked?
Great Video
Heyyyy😊 I don’t how you did it but I’m glad you did😊.. another surprise by you!!😊.. always got a smile on my face when I see you😊. All the time..😊. And giggles… a lot😊.. what a nice surprise 😊
Another thing. I'm really diggin your hair..it's always different. I like it☺️
Good morning!! ☺️.. I see you there. Have a good Sunday… There's so much to be thankful for.. I hope you great week to come.. it's gonna be a 🔥 hot here..but that's ok .we got to get it💪..that's how we make work .go get it💪💣💪
By the way..that was a really nice surprise ❤️😊❤️.. I love surprises
❤ and thats how ill end my night❤. GOOD NIGHT ☺️
What happens when your partner insists on asking you to do 3 and 5? In the way where they act as though when you give them a gift, you expect something in return when you've never said that nor showed them that?
The one thing I learned is "if you don't think your relationship is working out well, it may be time to either try to work it out, or have a break up"
This is a great example of how I learn from you.. I didn't even have a clue with the difference..that is until today 😊. I thank you.. again😊
Anyone who would isolate you and withhold necessities, does NOT love you. That's toxic.
There's a difference between really loving someone and loving the idea of them
Healthy love is relational. Unhealthy love is transactional.
Good timing of this video this is so true thankyou 😊❤️
yeah everything is manipulation according to you guys, guess what, not everyone is weak lover like you who needs manyyyyyyyyyy different things than a simple partner and time with them, you are all selfish and dont know what true love is and have never felt it, oh and what can i expect from people who "meet" people through "dating" and try to fall in love huh, everything is manipulation for you selfish people who just want a person clinging in back while you go about your lives, selfish century and people, no point of speaking about it to you all, youll never understand it
What does she mean, when she said if your relationship lacks all of these then it may be time to consider if it's a love that's not meant to last
Love is a 2nd hand emotion
Eish i am toxic😢
…………. Is there a way to fix them?………
Can someone help me out idk if he’s toxic or not so I been friends with this boy for 10-11 years we been friends since kindergarten to highschool yesterday I went to his house with my sister I have a crush on him but I seen him have some signs of having a crush on my little sister anyway I seen him hit her at first I thought he was joking but he kept hitting her I don’t think that’s normal and the thing is my little sister acts more mature then me and she’s taller than me he doesn’t know she’s three years younger than him she kept sitting by her and hitting her after a while I tried stoping him from hitting her but he’s so god damn strong damn it was hard if he does that again I will do something that will make regret it anyway byee please tell me if this is toxic or not
How can i show this to her without her getting upset and understand? 😭
If only I found this video earlier in life so I can avoid investing further into another person. Had traumatic experience but I come to terms by myself that not everyone have same stage of maturity and also wills within themselves to improves themselves. Hopefully they find their way to work through their actions, of course within myself as well and only will be open again to the dating market when I healed and ready.
“If you really loved me, you would stop your hobby.”
“If you really love ME, you wouldn’t try to stop me from doing what makes me happy.”
The saddest thing my recent ex ever told was I don’t love myself and my dad disparages me and doesn’t care but that was all there
projection doesn’t mean it didn’t
hurt tho
Has any one ever been in a situation like I was with my ex where they got angry and frustrated over something small like finding keys or you did something that wasn’t that bad and you just freeze up and they yell at you wondering why tf your not helping
so you are saying I should continue giving my all including paying and providing finances to a woman who is just using me or does not even love me ? I mean this is a bit scewed
this thing about boundaries really gets me going, there is a wise saying the boundaries that keep you safe are the same boundaries that keep you a prisoner. I believe respect is the key not some imaginary borders and fences that make us paranoid evertime someone is behaving in the way we dont expect then to be which can be a very selfish projection onto another human being
wait did you just say that if someone is caring and attentive and affectionate to their partner as much as they were at the beggining that this is some sort of unhealthy intensity ? how do you define intensity in this case ?
u shouldn’t have to tell ur partner not to talk to certain people i.e opposite sex friends n such. if they do they don’t value ur relationship to begin with so it’s not even worth making a deal abt just leave